Check out the videos from each of the three states below:

Washington

Washington residents will be asked to APPROVE REFERENDUM 74 in order to uphold the freedom to marry for all couples at the ballot, which was passed legislatively by the state legislature in February 2012 and signed into law by Gov. Christine Gregoire.

"Freedom," featuring Washington State Senator Cheryl Pflug, a Republican, debuted during the Olympics:

Former Senator Pflug's video was followed by "Journey," in which Reverend Gib Rossing and his wife, Beth Rossing, share their family's story:

Maine

Mainers will be asked to vote YES on QUESTION ONE to proactively pass the freedom to marry at the ballot. The ballot measure is the first time marriage advocates are working proactively to approve marriage for same-sex couples.

Television viewers in Maine have met the Lawsons talking about their gay son:

WWII Vet Harlan Gardner gathers with four generations of his family in this spot, which was celebrated as one of the most effective marriage ads ever when it debuted:

Last year's ads in Maine are still essential to working toward the freedom to marry. One features Paul and Jeanette Rediker reflecting on their 42 year marriage and their lesbian daughter:

Minnesota

Since May of 2011, Minnesota advocates have been working to combat a proposed constitutional amendment that would constitutionally ban same-sex couples from marrying. Minnesotans will be asked to vote NO on the amendment that would limit the freedom to marry.

In Minnesota, Grandparents Yvonne and Fred from Duluth describe why they support the freedom to marry for same-sex couples:

With these three states running public education and advocacy ads about why marriage matters, millions of people across the country are learning more about loving and committed same-sex couples and taking the time to consider why they need to be treated fairly and equally. Continue watching for more TV spots in each of these states!

That’s just one of the relationship lessons shared by Portland, Oregon couple Liz Schwartz and Beth Hamon. Perhaps the only unusual thing about their insight is the venue in which it appeared.

Schwartz and Hamon were profiled recently in Northwest Love Stories a series in The Oregonian, the state’s major daily newspaper, featuring the stories of long-lasting marriages.

Across the country, as Americans learn more about what marriage means to gay and lesbian couples, the majority in support of the freedom to marry continues to grow stronger. Stories like Schwartz and Hamon’s help those who may not know gay or lesbian couples understand that our hopes and dreams are not so different.

Basic Rights Oregon is a national leader in telling the stories of couples – gay and straight – reflecting on why marriage matters, their family values, and their journey to support of the freedom to marry. As they watch their neighbors to the north in Washington State decide whether to uphold the freedom to marry at the ballot this November, Basic Rights Oregon will continue building majority support to overturn Oregon’s constitutional ban on marriage for same-sex couples in 2014.

By Elaine Gold, Freedom to Marry volunteer

“We call ourselves the gay Cleavers,” say Tobi and Karen. “If you look at any traditional American family, we’re it – except our daughter has two moms. We both work; we love each other and our daughter. All we want is to be recognized as a family.”

When Tobi and Karen met, they had an instant connection. On their first date Karen checked her watch, thinking that about an hour had gone by, and was stunned to realize it was it was already 2:00 am. In time, they moved in together and started talking about marriage. One weekend, on a trip to a vineyard in the countryside, Karen surprised Tobi with a ring.

Their parents offered their full support. Like many parents, they expressed concern about how others might treat the couple but they were reassured as they saw the outpouring of encouragement for their engagement. Karen and Tobi’s bond with their combined families grew even stronger as they faced Tobi’s mother’s breast cancer diagnosis. When Tobi told her mom that she and Karen planned to get married, her mom called the news “the one ray of sunshine in an otherwise ghoulish time”.

In August, 2007 Tobi and Karen said their vows in front of 185 of their family and friends. Karen recalls being overwhelmed by a profound sense of commitment during the ceremony. She immediately felt different, physically, emotionally, and mentally. She and Tobi were no longer dating or living together – this was something on a much higher level. This was a lifetime commitment to Tobi and to protecting the family they planned on having. This was the real deal.

A little over a year later Tobi gave birth to their daughter Edie. Everywhere they went they travelled with a thick file of documents. Papers proving power of attorney, medical proxy, Edie’s birth certificate, adoption papers, and on and on. All the stuff they feared they might need in case disaster struck and Karen’s role came into question.

Once the marriage bill passed in Albany, Karen and Tobi planned a second wedding, this one recognized by the state. They renewed their vows on August 10^th. This time their daughter Edie was there, running around between them, hugging their legs and giggling. Edie knew this was something very special to their family. After the ceremony they took the day off and “honeymooned around New York City”. As sweet as the day was, Tobi and Karen agree that – apart from their original marriage ceremony and the birth of their daughter – the occasion that held the most meaning for them was the night the marriage bill was signed into law by Governor Cuomo.

Karen and Tobi feel fortunate that they, with their daughter Edie, are recognized as a family by their own families, and now by the state of New York. They look forward to the day when families like theirs in every state across the nation no longer need to carry thick files of paperwork to allow them to take care of each other in sickness and health. Karen and Tobi’s experience proved to them that “marriage” says “We are family” like no other word.

Rev. Dr. Rebecca Ann Parker remembers the day that the marriage between same-sex couples was legalized in California in 2008. She remembers the joy she experienced and witnessed around her when justice prevailed in the state she makes her home. Of course, due to Proposition 8, that joy is gone but hope remains that soon Californians will feel that joy again. 

Rev. Parker is a United Methodist minister with dual fellowship with the Unitarian Universalist Association. She is currently the President and a Professor of Theology of the Starr King School for the Ministry, a Unitarian Universalist seminary that is part of the Graduate Theological Union at the University of California, Berkeley. She has served as a parish minister and taught at the Northwest Theological Union in Seattle. She is a cellist, an author, a scholar, and an inspirational religious leader. And for over thirty years she has worked both as a United Methodist minister and a Unitarian Universalist minister as a religious activist for women’s issues and LGBT issues, including the freedom to marry. 

When Rev. Parker thinks of the freedom to marry, she sees it first as an expansion of joy. “The whole notion of the freedom to marry is an expansion of joy and love for all people,” says Rev. Parker. 

But it is not only an expansion of joy to Rev. Parker. It is also an expansion of justice and equality and a great liberation for same-sex couples. The freedom to marry is the relief to the great injustice of gay and lesbian couples being denied the rights, privileges and protections marriage provides and the recognition of their love and commitment to one another. “It is an opportunity for healing in the fabric of our social conscience,” says Rev Parker. “Marriage is about human love and family and commitments, and no government should undermine that.” 

As a person not of one but two faiths, Rev. Parker has found that the freedom to marry relates to her faith as a Unitarian Universalist and as a United Methodist. 

As a Unitarian Universalist, “the freedom to marry represents to core of the affirmation of my faith.” As a Unitarian Universalist, standing on the side of love and honoring the sacredness of relationships, of human beings, and the interdependent web of existence of which all are a part are fundamental aspects of her faith. “Without the freedom to marry, I would not be able to practice my faith,” according to Rev. Parker. “Denying the freedom to marry to same-sex couples is to hamper on my freedom to religion.” 

As a United Methodist, she sees the divine reflected in the diversity of humanity. Therefore, to honor that diversity, to acknowledge the divine found here among us, honoring people, relationships, commitments and family equally is a primary aspect of her faith. She speaks of seeing the faces of the divine here among us and winning the freedom to marry is a way to make those faces shine. 

“I want to find, to highlight and bring light to all of the good things in this world,” says Rev. Parker. “And the freedom to marry brings more good into our world.” 

“As I stood there, on that lonely cemetery hillside, and read the poems she had selected, and heard her read from a letter, and said a final, tearful prayer, it became clear to me that they had been married, totally, though no one had been allowed to know it,” Rev. Buehrens reflects. “And I stood there, saying, inwardly, “This is not right. This must be changed. Both in the church, and in society.””

And Rev. Buehrens has been working for the change ever since.

Over the past forty years, Rev. Buehrens has become religious leader in the both the Unitarian Universalism and in the larger world. Rev. Buehrens is the currently the Minister of First Parish in Needhham, Massachusetts, a Unitarian Universalist congregation. He has also served as minister in Knoxville, Dallas, and New York City. For eight years, Rev. Buehrens served as the President of the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations (UUA). As President of the UUA, he led the General Assembly of the UUA to pass a resolution in support of the freedom to marry in 1996, making Unitarian Universalism the first religious denomination to come out in support of the freedom to marry. He led the General Assembly to pass this resolution by telling the story of that congregant from Knoxville and inviting dozens of same-sex couples to stand with him in front of the assembly as he described why marriage matters.

He has served leadership roles in several other organizations such as the World Conference on Religion and Peace, the Foundation for Individual Responsibility and Social Trust (FIRST), and the Religious Institute for Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing. He also serves as the Co-Chair of the Freedom to Marry Board of Directors.

For Rev. Buehrens, marriage is a basic human right. And as a person of faith, Rev. Buehrens finds it difficult to understand why other faith leaders condemn marriage between same-sex couples. As Rev. Buehrens states, “Why on earth would [my wife and I], as a clergy couple, deny any loving couple the chance publicly to enroll in the great school for spiritual growth know as marriage?”

When reflecting on how the freedom to marry relates to his faith, Rev. Buehrens does not believe that God would condemn marriage between same-sex couples today. “The God I worship is a dynamic force of love and justice, not a force that stays on a single position forever.”

I'm an American citizen and my husband Stephen is from England. About two weeks after we got engaged in January, he found out there was a problem with his work visa and might be forced to leave the country. After some frantic calls to a variety of attorneys, we wound up getting married at City Hall in New York. The fact that we even had that option brings into sharp relief the injustice that our gay and lesbian friends and family members have to deal with, since the federal government won't recognize their marriages for green card sponsorship. The thought of being torn apart like that is simply awful.
 
But let's back up a bit and say how we got together in the first place: I spent two weeks one summer on a "working-vacation" at a cattle ranch out west. Stephen was the head-cowboy, and as quiet as I am talkative. Afterwards, I stayed in touch – mostly in the spirit of a challenge, to see if I could draw him out. He hardly said five words to me the whole time at the farm, but little did I know he had a big crush on me. By that winter I had developed a big crush too, through our letters. Then the grant funding for my job dried up so I headed back to the ranch, newly unemployed, to bide my time until I heard from the graduate programs I'd applied to. Plus I was curious about this cowboy and whether or not we were truly compatible or if this was only a postal romance.
 
As it turns out, it was the real deal and we fell in love. In the fall Stephen followed me to New York so I could start my PhD program. He found a job at a farm upstate that would sponsor a work-visa for him. But a few months later – right after Stephen proposed – there were technical problems with the visa. Even though we had the option to get married right away and "solve" the problem, it was still incredibly stressful; but we were so lucky that we could get married. We didn't have to be separated because of some bureaucratic error. It is terrible and unjust that if we were a same-sex couple our lives would have been totally upended.
 
We're still planning on our wedding this summer on the farm with all of our friends and family. As we commit to each other, we will also make a commitment to working together for an equitable and just world for everyone.

We still have to go through all the green card paperwork, but we can basically exhale now. Because here's the thing: even though we were engaged before all this happened, and even though we were planning our wedding before we had to make it legal at City Hall, the wedding wasn't the point. The point of marriage for us is what happens after the wedding – the part where we get to build our lives together. How could we have done that if we were forced to live in separate countries? And for us that's the heart of the matter: the freedom to marry isn't about the freedom to have a wedding – it's about the freedom to build your life with the person you choose.

I don’t even know their names. Yet they are a couple whose story I will never forget. And their story helped propel me to fight full-time for the freedom to marry for all loving couples in America.

In 2004, as ill-conceived measures to “defend” marriage were placed on ballots of states across the country, I was one of many straight allies working on a campaign in my home state of Oregon.

That’s when I heard this story, which has stuck with me ever since:

A volunteer canvasser knocked the door of a suburban house, and the gay man who lived there stood at the doorway and explained what had happened to him.  I never knew their names, but for the sake of this story, let’s call them Bob and Timothy. They had been together for many years when Timothy was diagnosed with cancer. Bob accompanied Timothy to his many treatments, driving him back and forth and staying by his side through the chemo, and the many other challenges that accompany a life-threatening diagnosis.

Timothy’s health worsened, until late one night when Bob had to call an ambulance because Timothy was extremely ill. Timothy was admitted into intensive care — and Bob was not allowed by his partner’s bedside. Out in the waiting room, Bob was told that Timothy would likely not make it through the night, but still the hospital would not let him sit vigil by his beloved’s bedside.

As Bob begged and negotiated with hospital staff, they told him he would need to prove that he and Timothy had indeed lived together as a couple for the many years he had described. The staff finally decreed that if Bob could produce several neighbors who would come to the hospital and vouch for the fact that the couple had lived in the neighborhood for a significant period of time, then Bob would be allowed into the intensive care ward.

That’s the image that got to me and was seared into my mind — the idea that a man was forced to go knocking on his neighbors’ doors in the middle of the night, to somehow coax them out of their beds, convince them to get dressed and make the trip to the hospital  — all to vouch for the fact that their gay neighbors were indeed a loving and committed couple. To prove that they were a family.

That story simply broke my heart. On one of the worst nights of his life, the fact that any human being should be sent out on such a desperate mission, racing to prove the value of their relationship while his beloved’s life ticked away. That just seemed so wrong. And I decided to do everything in my power to make it right.

"Kathy has a way of being able to laugh at almost anything – even though at our age there aren't that many things to laugh about," says Carmah as the two share a chuckle in their home near Denver.

But they don't let their age stop them from enjoying life together, which includes plenty of lunching with friends around town and visits to others who live elsewhere.

They both used to be social workers, which is how they met. "Those were the days when you hardly mentioned to anybody that you were gay, even though you suspected that somebody else might be," says Kathy.

They say it felt very good when they were finally able to be public about their relationship. "We felt like we lived a lie for years," says Carmah. "It means a great deal to both of us."

But despite their love and caring for each other, they can't get married in their home state of Colorado, which passed a constitutional amendment banning marriage for gay couples in 2006. The state is now considering a bill that would allow civil union, which they hope would be a stepping stone to marriage.

"Our chances of waiting for the repeal of 'one-man-one-woman' and then getting something done about marriage are fairly slim," says Kathy with another laugh. "We don't plan that far ahead of time any more."

In the meantime, they've had to go to a lawyer to draw up agreements about things like inheritance and medical care. Luckily, the local hospital was very good about accommodating Carmah when Kathy had to go through 12-hour heart surgery. "I was fortunate to have a lot of friends supporting me to get through that long wait," Carmah says.

Friends and each other are that much more important to couples like Kathy and Carmah, because they were never able to come out to their entire families.

"We turn to one another to discuss, to make decisions, to consider things like long-term care," says Carmah. "If you don't have the support of your family to start with, you support each other. We really have developed our own family."

John Fliszar had a heart attack in 2006 and was rushed to Illinois Masonic Medical Center.

“When I was in the emergency room with him, he asked me to promise him, if he died, to make sure his ashes were interred in the Naval Academy,” said Mark Ketterson. “He loved that place. He very much wanted to be there.”

Fliszar, a Marine aviator who served two tours in Vietnam, survived that heart attack. But last July the Albany Park resident suffered another one that killed him at age 61.

Hoping to fulfill Fliszar’s wishes, Ketterson contacted the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis and told them that Fliszar, Class of ’71, had wanted to have his ashes interred at the USNA’s Columbarium, a serene white marble waterside crypt next to the school’s cemetery.

The memorial coordinator asked about his relationship to the deceased. Ketterson said that John Fliszar was his husband.

“They were always polite, but there was this moment of hesitation,” Ketterson recalled. “They said they’re going to need something in writing from a blood relative. They asked, ‘Are you listed on the death certificate?’ ‘Do you have a marriage license?’ ”

He was and they did, the couple having been married in Des Moines when gay marriage became legal in Iowa two years ago.

Ketterson sent a copy of the marriage license. That changed everything.

“I was respected,” he said. “From that moment on, I was next of kin. They were amazing.”

The USNA alumni association sent Ketterson a letter expressing condolence for the loss of his husband.

The USNA says Fliszar’s interment followed standard operating procedure.

“His next of kin was treated with the same dignity and respect afforded to the next of kin of all USNA grads who desire interment at the Columbarium,” said Jennifer Erickson, a spokesperson for the academy. “We didn’t do anything differently.”

Shipmate magazine, the publication of the USNA’s alumni association, ran Fliszar’s obituary. It noted his two Purple Hearts for “having been shot down from the sky twice in military missions.” It noted “for the rest of his life he would joke about his ‘government issued ankle.’ ” It noted “his burly but warmly gentle manner.” It noted he was “survived by his husband, Mark Thomas Ketterson.”
    
… The memorial service was held in October, in “the beautiful, beautiful Naval Academy chapel,” said Ketterson. A uniformed officer stood in the back and played taps.

“They did the standard military funeral, a wonderful service,” said Ketterson. “Since I was the designated next of kin, they were going to present the flag to me, but I deferred to his mom. She gave it to me.”

… A marriage certificate was the key that let the USNA know how to treat Ketterson in relation to his husband’s service. Gays in the military and gay marriage are thought of as separate issues, but without legal gay marriage, or at least civil unions, how can the military know who gets the folded flag?

Such practical concerns were far from Ketterson’s mind when he and Fliszar got married after dating for six years — “because I loved him and he asked me,” Ketterson said, adding that the USNA alumni he’s heard from have made grieving more bearable.

“It’s been some months. I’m still doing mourning,” Ketterson said. “As a gay man who grew up in a military family, getting communications from USNA, having heard from alumni who say, ‘You will always be one of us’ — that’s powerful, and healing.”

Even with the coming end of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," the Pentagon says legally married spouses of currently serving gay military members won't be eligible for health benefits or base housing available to married straight couples. The so-called Defense of Marriage Act prohibits federal recognition of marriages between same-sex couples even when they’ve been legally married.

For Chris Williams and Juan McCoy, family definitely comes first. "As parents, we do everything the kids want to do, from tennis to basketball to just being out in the yard," says Juan. 

They've got five children aged 9 to 14. "We eat dinner together around a big table every night, just like a typical TV family from the 50's – which is not so typical these days," says Juan. But as a gay couple, Chris and Juan can't get married in their home state of Maryland.

The pair has been together for 13 years. They met at work and still work together – and their relationship is as strong as ever. Juan says of Chris, "He brings balance to my life. Whenever I'm agitated he always calms me down. I think I balance him out too." Recalling Chris' recent birthday, Juan adds, "I love him beyond what I can actually express. We're whole separately, but we're something even better when we're together."

The couple is very involved in their church, where Juan is an ordained reverend and Chris is a deacon. "We would love to stand up in our church and have our pastor marry us – and he's looking forward to doing so," says Juan.

"What I love about Juan most is his spirituality," says Chris. "Spirituality is what brought us together, and has so far solidified this relationship. That's the foundation on which our relationship is based."

In addition to their church, Chris and Juan have gotten plenty of support from their families. Chris' mother likes to say that she's "gained another son." But she would certainly love to see them walk down the aisle. "Being able to say that we are married would bring some comfort to everybody who is a part of our life," Chris says. "They would say, 'Ok well, now they're not living together, they're married.'"

"I want the kids to be comfortable going to school and knowing that our family is legitimate, and our family is just as valid and important as anyone else's," Juan says. "If the children say, 'This is my father's partner,' then you have to go through the explanation of 'What is a partner?' or 'What is a significant other?' It makes so much more sense to say 'husband' instead stumbling for the words to explain the nature of our family."

Being protected in emergencies is also something that the couple thinks about. When Chris had to go into the hospital to have his appendix out, Juan had to say they he was his brother to see him. "It's just inherent in the word marriage that there are certain things that you don't have to prove beyond the fact that we are actually married," says Juan.

But Juan and Chris prefer to think about happier things that might come up. "As fathers, it's important for us to set an example for our children, and show them just how important stable relationships are," says Juan. "I hope that they can look out our relationship, our marriage, and pattern their marriages after what we've built in our home." 

Chris sums it up: "Family is love, family is our kids – and nothing says family like the word marriage."